Mood – Resorting to plan B, with botox for beauty contest camels (4/10)

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As Boris is accused of seeking to distract Britain from Christmas partygate with a ‘dead cat strategy’ of introducing new COVID-19 restrictions, we’re in need of other back-up. While Finland’s PM says she’s ‘really sorry’ for partying until 4am, knowing she had come into contact with someone who had COVID-19, Pfizer is weighing whether COVID’s Omicron variant needs two, three or four doses of its vaccine. The boss who fired 900 staff on a Zoom call has apologised for failing to show adequate ‘respect and appreciation’.

USING ATTACK AS THE BEST FORM OF DEFENCE

While Ofgem admits that Britain’s energy market needs rapid reform after a damning Citizens Advice report, Dyson plans to appeal an EU court ruling that it’s not entitled to £150m in damages over flawed energy efficiency regulation. As Edison analysis shows that a meaningful decline in offshore ownership of stocks on the Johannesburg Stock Exchange over three years is weighing on their market values, The Resolution Foundation wants Britain to raise £3trn by hitting 20 years of soaring house prices with capital gains tax. Saga is introducing paid leave for grandparents. New Zealand is banning future generations from ever having a smoke. As Germany’s new cabinet is its first to be split equally between the genders, James Bond producer Barbara Broccoli is adamant that a woman shouldn’t ever play 007.

STICKING TO OUR DAY JOBS

It’s business as usual for financiers, with cancer drug specialist Clinigen being taken private for £1.2bn and challenger bank Monzo raising another $500m to take its value to $4.5bn. Corporates are sticking to the numbers as retail group Frasers sees first-half profits grow 62% and Rolls-Royce’s cost savings help it weather the pandemic’s effect on aviation. The FTSE All Share is playing it safe.

KNOWING OUR LIMITS

Honeybees survived for weeks under volcanic ash after the Canary Islands eruption, while sea life is colonising islands of plastic garbage. But dozens of camels have been banned from a Saudi beauty contest after their owners resorted to Botox.

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