Weekly – Delaying our freedoms with jelly-filled doughnuts and $100,000 chicken nuggets

Published on 13-06-2021 08:45:17

As we learned that ‘Freedom Day’ may be delayed and argued over how long for, other important datelines were being respected. While Britons were told to holiday at home, Biden jetted in on his first presidential European tour and wasted no time rocking the boat about Northern Ireland. As G7 leaders were serenaded with sea shanties, sat around fire pits and toasted marshmallows on the beach, one in five pub landlords feared their hostelries wouldn’t survive the next three months.

 

CRAMPING OUR STYLE

As Andrew Lloyd Webber threatened to break the law by reopening theatres and Starbucks listed 25 items that could disappear from some branches, our options were limited, Instead, we celebrated being gloriously ‘upsy daisy’, were grateful for mates and wobbled about gleefully on National Jelly-Filled Doughnut Day. As we fretted about world oceans, we discovered one more of them to worry about.

 

BEING VICARIOUS OR PRECARIOUS

We were free to join 27,000 others at the world’s first Clubhouse wedding or, if we were lucky, experience sheer ‘terror’ taking the plunge 115ft up in London’s aquarium in the sky. For fast food, we could choose between being shut out of four McDonalds’ stores in Indonesia because of the clamour for a special deal with boy band BTS or making nearly $100,000 by selliing a chicken nugget on eBay.

 

PAUSING FOR THOUGHT

We were at liberty to take a rest like China’s herd of 500km-wandering elephants or to be released like 17m salmon in San Francisco Bay. Alternatively, we could always retire with Magawa, the landmine-sniffing rat.

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